| EJF Home | Find Help | Help the EJF | Comments? | Get EJF newsletter | Newsletters |
| Domestic Violence Book | DV Site Map | DV bibliography | DV index |
| Chapter 7 — Domestic Violence Against Men In The United States |
| Next — Stories Of Abused Men In Arkansas |
| Back — Stories Of Abused Men In Alaska |
Stories here are reproduced under the Fair Use exception of 17 USC § 107 for noncommercial, nonprofit, and educational use.
Death of a Jewish American Princess
University of Arizona employee reports being stalked by ex-girlfriend.
Arizona father jailed because his wife stalked him to put him there
Marine in Kuwait indicted in grenade attack on lover's husband
Globe man ruined by violent illegal immigrant
Arizona attorney experiences domestic violence laws first hand
Fallon, Nevada, woman charged in Yuma murder of her husband 21-years ago
Wife shoots husband in back in Flagstaff, then flees to Mexico
Previous lover died in mysterious circumstances
Jessica Riggins found guilty of first-degree murder
Epitaph for a charter member of the Equal Justice Foundation
Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Foreign brides coached to make false DV claims to gain U.S. citizenship in Maricopa County
In 1982 Phoenix restaurateur Steven Steinberg killed his wife by stabbing her 26 times but was acquitted. His legal defense portrayed the victim as an overpowering "Jewish American Princess," whose excesses provoked her violent end according to Shirley Frondoff in her book Death of a Jewish American Princess.
Of course the reverse side of the coin, the "battered woman syndrome" has now become a standard ploy in the defense of women who kill their male partners. But we have seen no other example where a battered man was acquitted because of his wife's battering.
October31,1994 — The victim told University of Arizona police Thursday that his ex-girlfriend has been harassing his current girlfriend and believes the suspect is following them around. The victim told UAPD the suspect has repeatedly blocked in his car with her truck on campus.
The victim said he is concerned because the suspect took a hunting rifle from her ex-husband when they divorced last year and threatened to kill her ex-husband. The victim said he plans to have a restraining order put on the suspect.
As we approached Christmas, 2000, and the new millennium, an Arizona man spent the holidays sitting in the Durango Jail in Phoenix, Arizona. He has been there since before Thanksgiving and will be there until January before he can get a hearing.
His current problems began when his ex-wife was granted an Order of Protection under false pretenses. She then found out where he shopped and got a job there. The minute he walked into the store to buy groceries, and she noticed him, the police were called to arrest him.
There is a joke going around that cell phones were invented for women with restraining orders against their ex's to report violations. You probably won't find that funny if you've been in this situation.
In Arizona they have a convenient law(?) called "Interference with Judicial Proceedings" as a catchall for violations of domestic abuse restraining orders that elevates the crime to include domestic violence. Though the charge carries a maximum penalty of 6 months in jail and a $2,500 fine, the Arizona Supreme Court, in all its Imperial Glory, has ruled that a man cannot demand a jury trial under this charge.
The stated reason the Arizona high courts are limiting jury trials for such petty(?) offenses is in the interest of judicial efficiency and expediency. One wonders if the framers of our Constitution were concerned about "efficiency and expediency" when they wrote that document and the Bill of Rights? Perhaps good King George had pulled a few of these same stunts on the American colonists and they wanted to put a stop to such practices?
As with Colorado, a trial to a judge by a man is just a long, slow way of pleading guilty. As a result, he was placed on probation for three years, fined, served some time in jail, and required to take the standard 36 domestic violence counselling sessions that are going to teach him how to manage his anger after he admits that he is a "batterer."
Not content with these punitive actions, during his probation his ex-wife then stalked him and threw herself on his car at church. As a result he has now been charged with violation of probation, vehicular assault, and child endangerment, because his son was in the car when he drove off to get away from his lunatic ex-wife. Though her behavior was clearly outrageous, and he was trying to escape, of course it is he who has been charged and given the holidays in jail.
Though women who abuse men tend to abuse their male children as well, while he sits in jail his son has been given back to the mother. We can only hope the boy had a calm Christmas. It couldn't have been a happy one, with his Dad in jail. Lets hope the little boy behaved, and was quiet, so Mom didn't get mad.
Reproduced under the Fair Use exception of 17 USC § 107 for noncommercial, nonprofit, and educational use.
June 5, 2003, Phoenix (AP) - A federal indictment alleges a grenade attack that injured a Marine in Kuwait was carried out by a fellow Marine plotting with the man's wife and trying to disguise the crime as a terrorist act.
Chief Warrant Officer Larry A. Framness, 36, and Wendy Glass, 33, both of Yuma, are charged with murder conspiracy in the May 14 attack on Chief Warrant Officer James H. Glass.
Wendy Glass, who allegedly had an affair with Framness, was arrested Thursday in Yuma, and is scheduled to be arraigned Tuesday in federal court in Phoenix.
Framness, an 18-year veteran, is being held at the Marine Corps station in Miramar, Calif., where his squadron is headquartered, said Gunnery Sgt. Matt Olivolo. Framness is to face military charges before appearing in federal court.
Framness detonated a grenade after luring James Glass, 37, into a guard shack, according to the indictment handed up Wednesday.]
Glass, a 20-year Marine veteran, suffered shrapnel wounds to his neck, back and legs. He has recovered and is back in Yuma with his unit, Marine Wing Support Squadron 371.
The Glasses and the Framnesses were neighbors who socialized together before the Framnesses divorced, the indictment said. The document alleges Framness and Wendy Glass began an affair in 2001 and wanted to collect life insurance benefits from James Glass' death.
The indictment alleges that Framness and Wendy Glass plotted to make James Glass appear as if he had driven his car off a cliff while inebriated during a weekend cabin trip in California last year. The plan wasn't carried out because James Glass wasn't "sufficiently intoxicated," records say.
Framness and James Glass were deployed to Kuwait in early 2003 and stationed at Camp Snake Pit at the Ali Al Salem Air Base. E-mail messages and phone conversations between the defendants indicated another murder plot, the indictment said.
In a phone conversation around April, Wendy Glass allegedly told Framness that she didn't want to know details of the killing but didn't want her husband to suffer.
2002 — I am 64 years old and disabled. My wife is Mexican with an expired visa, forged work permit, and drivers license. I divorced her after I recorded her on the telephone with a lover. She found out and attacked me and my friend trying to get the recording from me. I was put in the hospital with heart problems. Both my friend and I filed assault charges against her but the court and DA refused to prosecute. Then the family-court judge stated that we both committed domestic violence.
We have a son who was five at the time and they kept us apart until 2005 when I have finally been able to see him with her supervising. What hurts more than anything is whenever I see him or talk to him over the phone he will say things like "I want to be with you dad," or "Please come and get me dad."
Victim's advocates made up false accusations against me and I have spent thousands of dollars since 2002 clearing myself of the accusations.
But because of these allegations she was put in a shelter for abused women that is run by a Mexican woman and they have created a hell for me. Horizon Health services with VAWA money supported her for five months in the shelter, they also paid for legal counsel to apply for a battered woman's visa for her. Despite the expired visa and no green card they got her a job.
Used with permission, name omitted at attorneys request
October, 2003, Tucson — My wife. age 45, is, I believe, a borderline personality and suffers from depression. I have taken quite a bit of verbal abuse and on occasion physical as well. I stand 6'4", but was trained never to raise hand to a woman, so it's safe for her. I never dreamed of calling 911.
Last October I was lying on the bed reading a book when she exploded. She threw a drink at me, then poured another on me. She turned and reached for the bookcase. I knew from past experience that books hurt when hurled. I pushed at her with the glass she had thrown. She ran from the room saying she had me now, it was DV and she was calling 911.
She called, then thought better of it and hung up. Of course they had the number on caller ID and sent a deputy out. She later told me she thought the deputy would just talk to us and leave. If that sounds incredibly stupid — well, I'm convinced it was true, since she told the deputy the truth, that she began the fight.
Needless to say, we were both arrested. Luckily, my sister answered the phone when the deputy called her; otherwise they'd have had to take the kids away and put them in a shelter. The deputy who took me to jail was a helluva nice guy. Made sure the cuffs were comfortable, that sort of thing, and we joked all the way to the jail (my sense of humor stayed with me). He was doing his job, and the law left him with no choice.
The night in jail was the usual hell. Two guys in my cell already in the bunks, so I slept on the floor, tossing and turning on an inch-thick mat, bones aching. Breakfast was slop and lunch two pieces of bread with a piece of lunch meat and one of cheese between them. Biggest pain was being trapped in a tiny area — maybe 4x4 feet available for standing room, shared with two others — and nothing to do except wonder about the family. I got out for half an hour, got to a phone, made a collect call — the only way a call can be made — at about $1 a minute. On third try my daughter got it and, despite being only ten, figured out how to push the button to accept charges. I almost wept to hear her voice.
I got OR'd at the hearing at 4 PM the next day, and then it took four hours for processing. I got out almost 24 hours after the arrest. 20 miles from home, in a rough area, at night, without a penny. The jail converts your cash into a check. Can't use that in a pay phone. Luckily another inmate told me they'll give you a free bus pass, so I rode the bus back, bought dinner, and used the change to call my sister.
I heard some horror stories from my fellow inmates that far beat mine. One had been told by officers that they had to make an arrest, should it be his wife or him? He said the kids need her more than they need me, take me. Another had surgical staples in his head. He had been cussing out his criminal stepsons, who have become drug dealers, and they attacked him with a golf club, splitting his scalp open. The wife called 911, the stepsons fled. Police got a felony warrant for them — and arrested him on the spot! I asked — but he hadn't touched them? He said yes, the charge was disorderly conduct DV for yelling at them. I'd never heard of disorderly conduct domestic "violence" but after my release I looked it up. Yes, disorderly conduct or disturbing the peace is domestic "violence" — so is exhibiting an offensive gesture!
My wife heard one of her own while in jail. A young hispanic lady said that her stepfather had grown violent and was going to attack her sister. She fought with him, police were called, and bought his story that she'd attacked him. She was jailed — but because she had some past misdemeanor arrest they imposed a $120 bail. She didn't have it with her, the stepfather probably wouldn't post it, and so she likely sat in jail for a month until the pretrial hearing.
I had excellent proof of self-defense. To protect myself, I had taped a prior confrontation where she seized books from that very cabinet and pounded me with them. The tape was pretty graphic with her screaming and me crying out in pain, ending with me calling her a lunatic and she snarling " Yes, I am a lunatic." I had other proof as well. But the prosecutor refused to consider any of it. They mass-produce these cases, only think about them the day before trial, if then, and won't return calls or reply to letters.
Anyway, it ended halfway well. Got an attorney, did some research (I'm a lawyer myself) and worked out a plan. The prosecutors mass-produce, and don't bother to subpoena witnesses as it saves $25 or so — I'm told they have now started doing subpoenas on DV victim-witnesses. They mail a subpoena first class, with bold type saying that if you do not appear a warrant will be issued for your arrest, and enclosing a postcard. Under the laws here, service of the subpoena by first class mail is only valid if you sign and return the card. That of course is never mentioned, so most folks read the language about warrants being issued and figure they must show up.
We agreed. Neither of us returned the card. My attorney and I attended my trial. When it was obvious she wasn't there and that the card had never been returned, my charges were dismissed. I then skedaddled. Her trial, same thing happened. Except that the prosecutor got outraged, demanded that I be held in contempt, why I'd been in that very courthouse half an hour before! Her attorney pointed out the statute allows service of a subpoena in three ways — first class with postcard returned, registered with receipt signed, or personal service by an officer. Did the prosecutor have any proof that any one had been done? Nope. The two deputies were by then grinning at the prosecutor — they thought it a marvelous practical joke — and he angrily gestured them from the room. Then the judge dismissed her charges.
June 2, 2006 (AP) — A Fallon, Nevada, woman has been arrested and charged with killing her husband 21 years ago in Yuma, Ariz.
Delma Troy, 53, was taken into custody at Wal-Mart Wednesday afternoon on a first degree murder warrant issued the day before in Yuma. She is charged with murder in the first degree and conspiracy to commit murder linked to the 1985 death of James Ferrera, 65, who was found shot to death in his home after Troy asked a neighbor to check on him.
Assistant Fallon Police Chief Ray Dolan said Thursday it appeared that Troy has lived in Fallon since at least 1987 based on records of contact with her over the years.
He said he was contacted by an Arizona detective who said Yuma police developed information that Troy was living in Fallon and wanted for the decades-old murder. Dolan said Troy had lived at her current home since at least 2004 when she called to report a fire in the residence.
In Fallon, Dolan said police had little contact with Troy over the years, although neighbors had called officers to complain about noise coming from Troy's house.
Two men also are in custody in the Yuma case.
Clint Norred, public information officer for the Yuma Police Department, said Donald White, 41, of Brighton, Colo., was arrested in Lawton, Okla. May 11. He was arraigned this week on two counts of first-degree murder and one count of conspiracy to commit first-degree murder and is being held in lieu of $3.5 million bail in Arizona
Rick Kosterow, 47, of Richfield, Wash., is being held in Clark County, Washington, pending extradition. He was arrested May 24 on the same homicide charges, Norred said.
"The scoop is that on Sept. 30, 1985, James Ferrera was found shot to death in his house. In November of 2005, we received new information indicating Delma Lee Troy, who was the victim's wife at the time, conspired with Mr. White and Mr. Kosterow to murder him," Norred said. "That's the gist of it right now."
Norred would not detail what new information led to the arrests, saying only that information was provided by a person last year.
Abstracted from stories in AZfamily.com
August 8, 2007 — Flagstaff police are investigating the death of a Flagstaff man in a westside home as a homicide.
The dead man was identified as Rusty A. Riggins, 40, of Flagstaff, said Sgt. Tom Boughner of the Flagstaff Police Department. FBI and Mexican officials are also involved in the case.
According to federal court documents filed in Flagstaff just after the death, Riggins had been shot in the left side of his back with a .22-caliber weapon, and gunpowder residue indicated the fatal shot came from two to four feet away. There was no sign of a struggle.
Boughner said officers responded to the home on the 2000 block of South Highland Mesa Road just after 10 AM August 7 th , after a family member and a business partner, who were worried about Riggins, contacted police.
Rusty's wife, Jessica Riggins, 40, was wanted on homicide and auto theft charges. Police believe she had been planning her husband's death for some time and found that she bought a handgun at a local sporting goods store just days before his body was discovered. After she had changed her identification card to be in compliance with federal regulations, an FBI examiner approved the sale of the handgun to Jessica.
While the murder weapon was never found, the .22-caliber gun Jessica R. Riggins purchased is the same caliber as the one used to shoot and kill her husband, Rusty Riggins.
The couple had been scheduled to attend divorce proceedings the week police discovered Rusty's body and they were living together for a month prior to his death.
It was later determined that Jessica had taken a 2002 Toyota Camry belonging to Rusty's mother, driven to California, and visited yet another ex-husband, her son and her ex-husband's sister before crossing into Mexico. The car Jessica stole crossed the Mexican border August 7 th .
She was arrested on August 13 th while trying to reenter the United States in San Diego County, California. She faced a federal murder warrant and was extradited to Northern Arizona.
Jessica Riggins was indicted by a Coconino County grand jury in late August and accused of murder, auto theft, and credit card theft.
Mrs. Riggins' attorney is claiming she acted in self defense, the killing was an accident, and that she is the victim of domestic violence.
However, friends of Rusty Riggins who also know Jessica comment that she had a violent temper, and her relationships with men would run hot and cold — sometimes calling for reconciliation, sometimes calling for orders of protection from the men in her life. And, according to court documents, Rusty Riggins stated that she often accused him of infidelity and would assault him.
Clearly the relationship was a stormy one. Rusty Riggins was first convicted of domestic violence involving Jessica in 2003. For that offense he was put on probation for three years but was apparently released after one year. He was again convicted of domestic violence involving Jessica in 2006 and was on intensive probation at the time he was murdered.
Prior to Riggins' shooting, another of Jessica's partners died from a gunshot wound according to the Arizona Daily Sun.
Coconino County sheriff's detectives went to a Mountain Dell home on the night of November 7, 1997, on a report of a man shot.
Investigators found Jesse L. Phillips dead. A .22-caliber rifle was resting on the body. His fiancee Jessica, who had the last name of Masoner at the time, was hysterical and claimed she had been sleeping when the sound of a gunshot awakened her.
After conducting their investigation and conferring with the medical examiner, sheriff's detectives determined the death to be a suicide, and the case was closed.
No suicide note was found. Family and friends were at a loss why Jesse Phillips would want to kill himself, but they did admit to investigators that Phillips was an alcoholic and drank excessively.
Jesse's mother has told the Equal Justice Foundation that Jessica Masoner told her that the day after he died Jessica took his paycheck out of his pocket as he lay dying. She then forged his signature to cash it the next day. He had gotten a raise that day and he reportedly told Jessica he would be moving out as soon as he could and she could not have his paycheck anymore because he needed the money to move.
Five months after Jesse died Jessica Riggins (then Masoner) got a restraining order against Jesse's mother, who was trying to reclaim her son's belongings. In frustration, Jesse's mother wrote Jessica a scathing letter that was used in evidence against the mother. At the hearing the judge wouldn't even let Jesse's mother finish her statement when she tried to explain the circumstances.
In view of the murder of Jessica's current husband, Lt. Rex Gilliland of the sheriff's office said police investigators requested the case be pulled and re-examined. However, prosecutors were unable after 11 years to find sufficient evidence to reopen the Jesse Phillips case.
After more than two days of deliberations, on February 24, 2009, a Flagstaff jury found that Jessica Riggins, 41, murdered her husband in August 2007. She was found guilty of first-degree murder in the shooting death of Rusty Riggins. She was also found guilty of auto theft and two counts of credit card theft by a jury of seven women and five men in Coconino County Superior Court. The Coconino County Attorney's Office did not seek the death penalty in the case.
In the end, the jurors just couldn't believe her.
During the six-week trial, Jessica, 41, had taken the stand in her own defense, and it was that testimony that jurors said was unbelievable and contrived. Some jurors leaving the courthouse Wednesday, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said the central issue that determined their decision was credibility.
"On the stand, she destroyed herself," said one juror. "She got caught lying too often."
Another juror said Jessica's testimony presented pieces to a puzzle that just wouldn't fit together, and once those pieces that didn't fit were discarded, self-defense no longer applied.
The jury did not believe Jessica's account of the violence toward her by Rusty that she said took place the night of the shooting. And they had problems with why Jessica had the gun that she had purchased two days before she shot Rusty.
Jurors also believed that when Jessica testified, her diminutive voice and sometimes hysterical crying were contrived and not genuine.
Coconino County Attorney David Rozema said that although there had been extensive domestic violence between the two in the past, Rusty's death was a murder for money.
"Rusty Riggins had ended the relationship and had done many things to improve himself and his opportunities to get ahead in life," Rozema said. "The defendant wanted his money, and she traveled a long way and purchased a gun to make sure she would get it."
Continued Rozema, "The jury obviously concluded that the claim of self-defense had no merit, but rather that the defendant's greed took the life of Rusty Riggins."
During the trial, prosecutors contended that Jessica wanted to get Rusty's probation revoked so he would be jailed and she could get $30,000 she believed he had before they were divorced. She planned the entire scenario that led to her shooting her husband, they said. And if he were in jail during the divorce proceedings, she could request a judge give her that money through a power of attorney she had with Rusty.
The defense had countered that Jessica was a woman who was repeatedly physically abused by Rusty, and he had two felony domestic violence convictions against him involving Jessica. The night she shot her husband the defense claimed she was acting in self-defense, trying to keep from being hurt or killed.
A planned appeal will focus on evidentiary rules that are in place to ensure fair trials that, in this case, the defense claimed may have precluded information important for a jury to hear to render a fair decision. As an example, experts in domestic violence were limited in their testimony, which might have helped change perceptions, stereotypes and misconceptions — by the jurors and the legal system. In short, neo-Marxist radical feminist (redfem) ideology should trump evidence.
Jessica faces one of two scenarios: 25 years to life in prison, which means she must serve at least 25 years before she is eligible for release; or natural life in prison, which means she must spend the rest of her life behind bars.
September 9, 2008 — It was with great sorrow that I learned of the death of charter member Steven Bandusky on August 27, 2008, from liver and kidney failure. When we first heard from Steve on August 10, 2000, he was a successful engineer with Boeing in Mesa, Arizona.
He had built what his boys called the "big house" for his family, wife, her two daughters, and two boys of his and his wife. With about 5,000 square feet and a full basement, it truly was a big house. The boys loved to play in it. Unfortunately about a year after they moved in, things started to get a bit stressed with his wife Sylvia. Maybe it was the money, which was thin then, or maybe they grew a bit distant because of his schedule at work and trying to make ends meet.
At approximately 11:30 PM, on Monday, January 31, 2000, Steve was awoken by the sound of someone knocking on his bedroom door. It turned out to be two City of Mesa police officers informing him that he was being forced from his residence under an ex parte domestic relations restraining order.
All that he could think was that he had been woken up by the Gestapo in Germany. In utter disbelief he asked to see the court order. Yes, there it was in black and white, an order stating that he had committed an act of domestic violence against his spouse, his two stepdaughters, and two young sons pictured below.
After trying to convince the officers that this was total nonsense, he asked them if they saw any evidence of domestic violence against his family members. They said no, but reiterated that they had no choice in the matter but to follow the letter of the court order. One of the officers even mentioned that the action he was ordered to take against Steve was wrong, yet he still had to act on the direction of the court order. So after packing an overnight bag, Steve said goodbye to the house he had just built for his family. He then found himself driving around Mesa at midnight looking for a place to stay. Eventually he went to work instead.
It turned out that Steve's wife had gone to his mother and borrowed $100 that Monday and used the money to go to court and file the ex parte restraining order against him.
With the house being just a year-old, Steve was still doing landscaping. When hit with the restraining order there were dangerous open trenches. Being an engineer, Steve was concerned about the danger to pedestrians and others if the trenches were left open. Thinking the legal system was just, he obtained a modification of the restraining order to return to the house and fill in the trenches. The modification expired at 5 PM but Steve was still working away at 5:30 trying to finish up. His wife then called the police and had him arrested for violating the terms of the order.
As usual, Steve was convicted of domestic violence for violating the restraining order in the kangaroo county court after some dispute between the City of Mesa and Maricopa County as to who got to put the noose around his neck for trying to be a good citizen. He vainly attempted to get a jury trial for the criminal charge but was denied.
Incidentally, a November 20, 2000, letter to Arizona Senator John McCain about his situation went unanswered. And Steve's pro se appeal through the state courts was denied and certiorari was denied by the US Supreme Court.
Of course with the conviction for violating a restraining order he was denied custody of his two boys although he did have two weekends a month visitation.
Meanwhile his wife's new boyfriend had moved into the house with the stepdaughters and the two boys. Within a year she had a new baby by him to add to the "family." As often happens with women looking for a little "excitement" in their lives they take up with an abusive male. Apparently Sylvia still couldn't keep her knees together, or something else set off the resident boyfriend.
On April 27, 2002, Steve visited the marital residence to discuss the re-positioning of some trees in the front yard that she had planted directly over the septic system. When he arrived approximately 10-12 police vehicles/officers/detectives were parked in front of the house.
Steve quickly got out of his car to find out what was going on. He approached one of the detectives and was told there had been a shooting. After just about passing out from fear that his sons had been injured he was told they were safe with a neighbor down the street.
Apparently Sylvia, Steve's now ex-wife, was shot in the back of the head with a 12-gauge shotgun by her resident boyfriend while the children were in another room. Fortunately for Steve the police had the perpetrator in custody. So he was not considered a suspect, as would usually have been the case.
After finding out from the detective that the boys were safe and sound with some neighbors, Steve informed the police that he was going to go get them. They informed him that he couldn't due to the fact that he did not have sole custody and couldn't take them without a court order. They also informed him that this was a criminal investigation and that they wanted to question the boys, who were in the house at the time of the shooting.
At the time Steve still naively believed he had rights as a father and made the mistake of getting mad at the police, never a good thing to do, especially when they are conducting a murder investigation. The police then ran a check on Steve and found he had an outstanding warrant for his arrest. He hadn't attended the DV treatment courses after being convicted of violating a restraining order when he attempted to finish the landscaping project. So Steve got arrested and taken to jail once again.
After posting bond he went back to get the boys only to find the police had taken them into custody for questioning.
Steve was lucky in that, after an investigation, child "protective" services gave him custody of his two boys after his wife was murdered. My understanding is that the new baby went with its maternal grandparents. I don't know what happened with the stepdaughters. Perhaps they went back with their father but Steve did keep in touch with them.
As with everyone who goes through these injustices and traumatic events, Steve developed PTSD, severe in his case. The stress caused him to perform poorly at work and he went on medical leave until he used that all up. Eventually, though, he lost his job with Boeing and remained unemployed as he was emotionally unable to concentrate.
After cleaning his wife's brains and blood off the wall he managed to sell the "big house" and the boys certainly didn't want to go back there. That gave him money to live on but, like many, he self-medicated the PTSD with alcohol. More alcohol was required as time went on and eventually his kidneys and liver failed.
Through all the many emails from Steve he was trying to fix the problem, fight the issues and injustices in the courts, and care for his boys. There was never any violence in his marriage, only some arguments about money, and probably some estrangement due to his working too hard to try and pay for a new home and support a wife and four kids. For this, which we should admire, his life and family were destroyed.
If Sylvia had not taken out the restraining order there is a very good chance she would be alive today. And we can be reasonably certain Steve would not have crawled into a bottle to compensate for the incomprehensible injustices done him and his children.
Before he died Steve did arrange with the older of the stepdaughters to care for his now orphaned sons. We can only hope the resilience of youth allows these now young men to go on to normal lives despite the tragedies their parents endured at the hands of a society and justice system gone mad.
While Steve lived I asked him many times to write his story so that others would know what was being done to him. After buying flowers for the grave of the boy's mother on March 15, 2004, he wrote me the following message:
"People have been after me for a few years now to write this story. I don't know why it has taken so long to complete. I have started many times, but I am still in utter disbelief as to what has happened. I always seemed unable to finish. Maybe it was the pain, maybe the horror or probably just the absolute incredulity of the way our government 'protects' us.
The flowers were for the mother of my two young sons that we recently placed on her grave on what would have been her 39 th birthday. This was the first time that I've taken them to view the gravesite of their mother. It was the first time that I thought that they were ready to be reminded of the horror of what had happened a few years ago in the 'big house,' as they fondly called it. I found it a bit ironic as I watched the tears form in their eyes, to notice that just a mile away on the horizon, stood the hospital that Johnny and Robbie were born in, some 6 and 8 years ago. They were just 3 and 5 when the nightmare began."
Go with God, Steve, for you the nightmare is finally over. I hope my few futile words provide some evidence of the horrors inflicted on you. Know that as long as I draw breath I'll continue fighting these injustices in your name.
Abstracted from story on KPHO.com
April 29, 2009 — Some foreign brides attempt to exploit a loophole in immigration law by accusing their husbands of domestic violence, several men in Maricopa County say. Retired ICE agent John Sampson, who investigated such incidents as a federal officer, notes that of the 300,000+ immigrant visas issued on the basis of a marriage to a US citizen each year, nearly 30% of them are fraudulent.
These primarily Russian and Ukrainian brides tend to be young — sometimes 20 years their husband's junior — and they were very eager to marry, the men said. [While this story deals with marriage fraud involving women from the Former Soviet Union, the Equal Justice Foundation has heard numerous additional stories of women from other countries doing the same thing.]
Reed Simon met his ex-wife Anna while vacationing in Russia in 2001; after a short courtship, he brought her to Scottsdale and they married. Soon afterward, they had a son.
The wedded bliss ended, however, when police showed up at Simon's house, saying Anna accused him of locking her in their home, sexually abusing her and threatening to kill her.
It took Simon 18 months and thousands of dollars in legal fees before the charges were dismissed. "I have since met at least a half-dozen other men who had the same thing that happened to me happen to them," he said.
A man who requested anonymity said a similar incident happened to him. He met his Ukrainian wife, Valentina, on an Internet dating site, brought her to Arizona and married her within three months.
Less than a year later, the police showed up at his door.
"I woke up one morning to a phone call from a police officer," he said. "(I) went outside and there were five or six guns drawn on me...They had me get down on my knees, put my hands behind my back, and they put me in a police car."
Valentina apparently told police he tried to kill her with a metal pipe.
In events similar to Simon's case, the charges were dismissed after an 18-month court battle.
Investigators at KPHO talked to one other Scottsdale man who refused to appear on camera.
According to court documents, two days after his Russian bride received her green card she accused him of abuse; a judge later ruled she committed marriage fraud and ordered her to return thousands of dollars worth of possessions.
"It is clear to me that the immigration law is being manipulated," immigration attorney Nicomedes Suriel said after hearing the stories.
An expert in immigration cases, he said some women have found a loophole in the immigration law. The Violence Against Women Act was established to help foreign women who are victims of domestic violence gain U.S. citizenship. But many foreigners now use this to their advantage by falsely claiming abuse.
"In my experience, there is usually someone...that sort of says, 'Here's what you have to do, here's what you have to say, here's what you do when you call the police," Suriel said. "Unfortunately, that's why I call it gaming the system."
Olga Chaikheeva, who runs the Shield Foundation, is a prominent member of the Russian-American community, according to her Web site, but Simon and the other man said she told their brides to accuse them of abuse.
According to Simon, Chaikheeva told his wife that if she wanted to see her baby again, Anna would have to accuse Simon of domestic abuse.
5 Investigates spoke to Anna — who is now in Russia — and she backed up her husband's claim that Chaikheeva tried to control her. She also confirmed what she had written about Chaikheeva in a letter to the prosecutor in her husband's case:
"(Chaikheeva) went to great lengths to rehearse me on what to say and how to pretend tears in front of the judge and to convince me that I could benefit greatly by doing this...As I have found out since, she follows the same procedure with all of her 'clients.' Almost all are too afraid to testify against her."
The man who requested anonymity believes Chaikheeva told his wife to call police.
"The same day I was arrested, Valentina and Olga, they took my passport, my jewelry, the computer," he said. "They drained my accounts."
"I don't think much of her," he added. "I think she's a liar. I know she's a liar."
Chaikheeva declined to comment on the story over the phone; however, she sent an e-mail saying, "SHIELD Foundation staff and volunteers are always mindful in regards to their personal safety, which may be jeopardized by a breech of confidentiality of information."
Further attempts to talk to her at the Shield office, her home and her business partner's home were met with silence.
| EJF Home | Find Help | Help the EJF | Comments? | Get EJF newsletter | Newsletters |
| Domestic Violence Book | DV Site Map | DV bibliography | DV index |
| Chapter 7 — Domestic Violence Against Men In The United States |
| Next — Stories Of Abused Men In Arkansas |
| Back — Stories Of Abused Men In Alaska |
This site is supported and maintained by the Equal Justice Foundation.